Bodhi Book Summary: Aging Well: Surprising Guideposts to a Happier Life from the Landmark Harvard Study of Adult Development

Aging Well

by George E. Vaillant, M.D.

Summarized and Reviewed by Pete Landi

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The Brief Summary

Aging Well is a written account of the learnings from three longitudinal studies that followed Americans from their childhood through old age and death. This book attempts to find the common ties that connect people who have managed to live long, healthy, happy lives. When people reach their 70's and 80's, what were the behaviors and actions they took that resulted in a positive outcome vs those who had negative outcomes in life?

For Bodhi community members, we're interested in pulling out the insights that have the greatest impact on our future happiness. And, luckily, the advice there is both simple and unsurprising: relationships matter. Quality relationships with people whom you trust and share mutual love and respect are hugely important to enjoying a long, happy life. Regardless of your career and financial success, people with persistent quality relationships are the people who rate themselves as the most satisfied with their lives.

There are many other insights woven into the book, and I think most readers will get something out of it. But hopefully you walk away really feeling this insight: Getting older is not a thing to fear; it is associated with higher happiness and life satisfaction.

The Long Summary

Aging Well is a written account of the learnings from three longitudinal studies that followed Americans from their childhood through old age and death. The author, George Vaillant, is a psychologist who acted as director of one of those studies (the Study of Adult Development at the Harvard University Health Service) for thirty years.

This book attempts to find the common ties that connect people who have managed to live long, healthy, happy lives. When people reach their 70's and 80's, what were the behaviors and actions they took that resulted in a positive outcome vs those who had negative outcomes in life?

The research behind these findings is based on long-term prospective studies, in which experts in the field follow all of the participants over several decades, interviewing them regularly, collecting objective statistics on them, and even talking to the people who are close to them. This allows the researchers to put together insights that may not be discovered by merely interviewing older people and asking them about their lives, and lends a high degree of credibility to the findings.

As you read you'll be introduced to many participants from varied backgrounds, and you'll learn about how their lives changed and evolved as they grew older. We get visibility into people whose lives were largely happy, those whose lives ended in sadness, and many whose lives started out bleak and ended in happy contentment.

For Bodhi community members, we're interested in pulling out the insights that have the greatest impact on our future happiness. And, luckily, the advice there is both simple and unsurprising: relationships matter. Quality relationships with people whom you trust and share mutual love and respect are hugely important to enjoying a long, happy life. Regardless of your career and financial success, people with persistent quality relationships are the people who rate themselves as the most satisfied with their lives.

There are many other insights woven into the book, and I think most readers will get something out of it. For example, you'll learn about the developmental tasks (stages) that lead to adult maturity and see how they play out in the real lives of participants. But hopefully you walk away really feeling this insight: Getting older is not a thing to fear; it is associated with higher happiness and life satisfaction.

Enjoyable to Read: 4 out of 5

Aging Well is quite interesting to read. Large portions of the text are dedicated to sharing stories from the real lives of study participants, and then tying those stories back to each person's personal development. There are insights shared within that are useful, but the biggest joy is the connection we feel to these fascinating individuals who selflessly opened their lives up to this research for decades.

Reviewer's Overall Rating: 2 out of 5

I'm giving this a 2 out of 5 based on its relevance to the Bodhi Band community. The book itself is good and interesting to read, and so it would score closer to 4 on that basis alone. From the Bodhi Band perspective - the pursuit of a self-actualized life - Aging Well gives us hope and excitement for the future, and it shares a few useful tips to help us on our way. But it's not the first book we would recommend on your journey towards the life of your dreams.

Actionable Info: 3 out of 5

  • Cultivate and cherish your most loving & supportive relationships. They will bring you happiness and purpose for your whole life.
  • As friends fall out of your life, replace them with new friendships.
  • Moderate your drinking and refrain from smoking. Those two habits are the two most associated with poor life outcomes.
  • Learn to give back to your community, particularly by passing on your experience and wisdom to the next generation.
  • Keep playing. Make space in your life for playful activities, especially play with other people.
  • Keep moving your body. Walk, exercise, play, whatever.

    Quality of the Ideas: 3 out of 5

    Relationships matter. Quality relationships with people whom you trust and share mutual love and respect are hugely important to enjoying a long, happy life. Regardless of your career and financial success, people with persistent quality relationships are the people who rate themselves as the most satisfied with their lives.
    Loneliness is very bad for our long-term health, equivalent to smoking or alcohol abuse.
    Secure relationships lead to lower rates of depression and better mental functions, such as memory.
    The right time to start taking care of your body is now. The younger you begin to treat your body well, the better the long-term effects.
    Depression may be linked to poor health outcomes, but evidence suggests that it is the behavior that stems from depression (smoking, substance abuse, reduced activity) that are the actual causes of poor health.
      

    Quotability: 3 out of 5

    "In moments of sorrow, loss, and defeat many [older people] still convince us that they find their lives eminently worthwhile. They do not flinch from acknowledging how hard life is, but they also never lose sight of why one might want to keep on living it." - George Vaillant, Aging Well, 2002
    "It is not the bad things that happen to us that doom us; it is the good people who happen to us at any age that facilitate enjoyable old age." - George Vaillant, Aging Well, 2002
    "Learning to play and create after retirement and learning to gain younger friends as we lose older ones add more to life's enjoyment than retirement income." - George Vaillant, Aging Well, 2002
    "Objective good physical health was less important to successful aging than subjective good health. By this I mean that it is all right to be ill as long as you don't feel sick." - George Vaillant, Aging Well, 2002
    "Rather, successful aging means giving to others joyously whenever one is able, receiving from others gratefully whenever one needs it, and being greedy enough to develop one's own self in between." - George Vaillant, Aging Well, 2002
    "Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love, to put its trust in life." - Joseph Conrad, Victory, 1915
    "Life, today, is always easier if you accept yesterday." - George Vaillant, Aging Well, 2002

     

     

     

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