Resilient

Resilient

Why Study This Mantra...

Resilience is something we ALL need. You will learn the factors, the patterns, the process, and the resources for developing resilience.
 
“Going in one more round when you don’t think you can.
That’s what makes all the difference in your life.”
– Rocky Balboa

Introduction 

Resilience is two things. It's resisting being damaged by the traumas or destructive forces we sometimes face in life. It's also our ability to "bounce back" – to recover from those traumas or destructive forces.

We all need resilience, and we all currently sit at some baseline level. The relationship between resilience and well-being is a two-way street. Being highly resilient will make you happier, and higher well-being promotes stronger resilience.

Good news. There is a process and it can be improved. This month, you'll learn what resources you have and how you can develop more resilience.

Before you begin...

Before you start thes practices and challenges, take a moment to rate yourself on this mantra. Give yourself a score from 1-10 (10 being the highest). 

Do this again at the end of a month of practices and challenges. How much have you grown?

 

The Practices

Today's affirmation: "I am resilient."

Daily Practices

Be Resilient

Today, I will practice resilience.

When daily traumas or destructive forces come my way, I will resist being damaged by them. When recovering from them, I will recover quickly using decatastrophizing. I may even come back stronger than before, developing strength from my adversity.

    Monthly Challenge: Strength From Others

    Having some strong relationships in your life can make a big difference when it comes to resilience. This month, think about who these relationships are for you, whether or not they're serving you the way you need, and what you can do about it. You may use your journal for this.

    Who

    Getting help is not only acceptable, it's essential. Think about who these relationships are or could be in your life. It could be family, friends, coworkers, or really anyone in your social network who could provide social, emotional, or even financial support. It can come from both work or non-work sources. It should be someone you can call on and expect support from in times of crisis.

    Journal Prompt: Write down who this person(s) is/are.

    How They're Serving You

    Think about what kind of support you need vs. what kind you're getting. Is the support you can get from this person emotional support (e.g., listening and providing empathy) or instrumental support (e.g., tangible assistance aimed at solving a problem)? Is that what you need?

    Journal Prompt: Write down which you're getting and which you need.

    What You Can Do

    Now think about how you can strengthen them and get more of what you need to be resilient. The most important thing is that you strengthen your mutual sense of trust, understanding, and care in the relationship.

    Journal Prompt: Write down a few things you might do to strengthen the relationship. The list of things you could do might include:

    • Being there for each other not just when things go wrong, but also when they go right
    • Having hope for each other, especially when hope is needed
    • Being active listeners
    • Embracing each other's vulnerabilities
    • Practicing empathy for each other, validating each other's feelings and encouraging each other

    Finally, don't just say it, do it! Pick ONE thing from your list to focus on and be mindful of it when you're with your friend or loved one. If it makes sense, have a conversation with them about it. Go make your favorite people even closer and watch your resilience grow!

     

    Guided Journaling

    Decatastrophizing

    Remember the ABCDE method from your Hope month? It was a while ago, so feel free to go back and give yourself a refresher.

    This month, let's build on that method. Enhance your disputation toolset using something called decatastrophizing. In short, put things in perspective.

    Reflect

    Let's practice using a recent example. Think of a moment in the last month or so where you assumed the worst possible outcome came true, or where you may have exaggerated the importance of a problem. Put yourself back in that mindset. Now answer these questions:

    • What are you worried about? State a clear prediction about what you fear will happen.
    • How likely is it that your worry will come true? Give examples of past experiences, or other evidence, to support your answer. Has anything this bad ever happened to you before? How often?
    • If your worry does come true, what's the WORST that could happen?
    • If your worry does come true, what's MOST LIKELY to happen?
    • If your worry does come true, how might you cope with it? How have you coped with it in the past? What resources, skills, or abilities could you use?
    • If your worry does come true, what are the chances you'll be okay... in a week? ... in a month? ... in a year?
    • Given the above answers, what positive & reassuring thing do you want to say to yourself? What would be the most reassuring?

    Practice

    Now put this to practice. As you go through your day, follow these steps.

    • Step 1: Understand that catastrophizing is negative. While it might help motivate us to take action, it stops us from giving focus to the actual situation and responding appropriately
    • Step 2: Recognize when you're catastrophizing – when you're assuming the worst case scenario will come true. Thoughts like:
      • "If I fail this exam, I will never get the job I want."
      • "If this relationship doesn’t work out, I will never find the right person."
      • "If I admit I don’t know something at work, they will think I am useless and fire me."
    • Step 3: Decatastrophize. Take the scenario through the questions provided. Do it in your head, or use your journal to write in your answers if needed.

     

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